The U.S. is Full!

Ok, so let me make this clear, I am pro Immigration Reform... My parents were immigrants, my husband is an immigrant, and the nice lady who cleans the bathroom at McDonalds is most likely an undocumented immigrant... but immigrant none the less. I just think the US government isn't asking all the right questions to qualify people who want legal residency. So, here is what I think we should make immigrants promise to live by... you know.... rules if i may. This will help us all to live happily ever after.

P.S. if my comments are aimed more towards Latinos, it' because i know my people well, and for Gods sake! stop giving us a bad image!

So here are some suggestions i have for our immigrant friends:

1. Can collecting should be for the benefit of the environment. It's not meant to be made into a career.

Yes, This guy is pulling cans on his bike!

2. We're not back in your country where bartering  is ok, so don't go into walmart and tell the cashier that you'll give them $50 and a dozen tamales in exchange for the new Sony 50" Plasma tv.

3. Please understand that furniture belongs on the inside of your house! A sofa, tv, 10 bikes, chairs, and a china cabinet don't count as lawn furniture or ornamints. besides, our hometown red neck hillbillies have already mastered the crap on your front yard look.

 

You can tell this is a Mexican house because of the little baby Jesus statue under the table

4. If the car is broken, don't keep it in your driveway saying that you're going to fix it and sell it later.

5. This goes out to my wonderful Asain people. Please, just stop comming! It's not that I don't like you guys, but you guys are already better than us in everything from your own countries. It just burns more when you're better than us in our country.

This is what most Asians become. Rich and successful!

But I can't say ALL Asians are smart... for example, look at these dumb asses! Take that China! or Japan, or Korea... I can't tell, all of these guys' eyes are too squinty to tell. Next time the photographer should count to 3 to make sure everyone keep their eyes open. :) lol

6. Stop having babies in hopes that you're gonna get a bigger tax refund, more food stamps, and a bigger welfare check! You're not going to get a reality show unless you're white and have a large family. I mean, what's so interesting about a Latino family with 8 kids? My mom is from 12, my dad from 8, my husband from 10... you might get a show if you only have 1 kid.

Here's a typical mexican family. all from the same 2 parents

Here's the typical modern American family. Like they say "Jesus had 2 dads and he came out fine"

7. I would rather you speak in your own language, (even if i don't speak it) than hear you butcher the english language! (ex: I am a yanatorial manayer at my yob .... or.... my teesher is teeshing me computation.... my favorite..... do jew sell shickens?) Just stop!!! maybe you should try french

8. NO MORE BEAUTIFUL EXOTIC WOMAN! if it's not hard enough to find a good man now a days, we have to compete with sexy ass Brazilian swim suite models, beautiful petite Asians, georgeous Eupopean woman, etc.... just stop coming please.... your beautiful features and lack of english understanding make you more disirable to men.

common, i'm straight and find her hot.

We can't compete with this!

 Here are the America Beauty Queens

I know guys like boobs, but common!

Not even a paper bag would help this girl

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i should hang out with these ladies. i'll be the sexiest and skinniest bitch by comparison!

9. NO UGLY GUYS PLEASE! if your smart, hot, have an accent, and need a visa... let me know. we want your kind!

Cristiano Ronaldo, Portuguese soccer player

MMMMMMMMMM...... oh wait let me say that in Portuguese.... eeeMMMMMMMMMMM

British Robert Pattinson.... whether he's flying a broom stick or hiding from the sun... he's super freakin SEXY. MMMMMMMMMMMM (holding up my pinky)

Mexican Fernando Colunga... proof that there is a God and he has washboard abs

Even with a shirt Fernando looks good. What american can compete with these gods?

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Even when i take my glasses off my eyes hurt!

10. Stop dressing like we're back at your rancho! 

Damn, these are my uncles! lol

11. Please learn to decorate your house. Putting party favors from every party you have ever been to all around your house is not considered decoration. 

12. Learn that there are more places to shop than the flee market and yard sales...i introduce you to the mall! But if you're really interested in buy someone's old garbage, i have a broken tv you can buy for $5. you can add it to your lawn collection.

13. And here is my #1 rule! Just because you live in the US doesn't mean you have to give your kids American names that you can't pronounce! (ex: Jonathan... u don't pronounce it Juan-a-ton... Andrew, it's not pronounced And-ree-uu... Jessica, Jasmine, Jamie or any other J name, because you always pronounce the J as a Y.... and for my asian friends... no R names because you always pronounce the R as an L.)

Not even God believes that he's a Timmy

So please, call your state senator and ask them to consider these rules when debating over the immigration reform. And here is the oath that we should make them take:

I pledge allegiance to the flag, of the United States of America

And to never mooch off the government, no matter how poor i am

have only one kid, to name him juan or maria, and to never make an American look as dumb as they are.

Thanks for tuning in again... and please feel free to comment on my page. become one of my followers....and please.... i know, someday, someone who doesn't know me personally is going to find my page and get all butt hurt about the crap i put up. I say... GET OVER IT! i'm just having fun. if you want to read something serious and bornig, go to NBC.com

And before anyone asks why i didn't mention any black people in my blog... frankly... i don't wanna get my ass beat walkin down the street. lol j/p

Love,

eRiCa