My Wish List

So, i was driving home from school, and i got to thinking... i have a lot of things i wish i could do or accomplish. And i think if i write them down and share them with you, i might get closer to fulfilling my wishes. let me know if you have any advice.

• I wish i could eat 3 Taco Bell Supreme Combos AND a whole chocolate cake with chocolate mouse filling with fresh raspberries and a nice ganache icing... this isn't the pregnancy talking... i just really wish i could do this without having to go to the ER after. mmmmmmmm chocolate cake! (fun fact: i use to hate chocolate! it wasn't until i got preggers with my first daughter that i began to like it. something about the enzymes and bacteria in your ass... you think i'm joking... it's not a joke. hahaha talk about a chocolate ass) lol 

ohhhhhh baby! it's like a dream come true!

Stop calling Justin Bieber gay! She's a lesbian!

• I wish i could transform myself into anyone in the world... not to get all the celeb perks and special treatment... so that i could make an impact on people's lives! imagine the impact it would have if i transformed myself into Justin Beiber and went to a junior high school... exciting right? now, imagine how those little girls would react if i yelled out on stage (as Justin still) "I'm GAY!" those tears of joy would soon turn into depression, anger, confusion... i think it's what pre teens need to go through early in life to mature faster. 

BUT the #1 reason i would do this would be to go find all the people that have pissed me off, turn into their favorite artist... then slap them. then walk away. see, if i do it as myself, who cares! but if Snoop Dogg comes and beats the shit out of you... that leaves an emotional scar that is priceless.

• I wish i could fly. so i could stop wasting so much freakin money on gas and be able to buy thing i haven't been able to in years! like new shirts, school supplies, steroids... you know... basic every day things

• i wish i could tell people to their face how ugly i really think their kids are! yeah, you heard me... i think most of your kids are ugly! it pisses me off when people tell me, "OMG! this better be your last one!" excuse me... last time i checked, you never buy my kids diapers, clothes, pop them out of your who-haa! but i realized why they say it... my kids are so freakin cute... your kids look even worse by comparison. hey i got two things to say to you... #1- natural selection: the beautiful kids will always win over your bucked tooth, cockeyed, beast you call a child. #2- sterilization: you don't have to have more kids. you'd actually be doing the world a favor. I on the other hand will have as many kids as i please since I'M THE ONE WHO TAKES CARE OF THEM, DUMB ASS! hahaha

  

  yeah, these are your kids

  

  and this is when you sterilize yourself!

  (i don't post pics of my kids, because i have strangers look at my blog too! but God my kids are cute! look nothing like me!)

•  I wish they still made Velcro shoes for adults! I mean, what the hell?!? it's like they get you use to velcro when you're little, then... all of a freakin sudden, you go shopping for new shoes cause your about to enter 1st grade... and you have to learn to tie shoe laces! WTH?!?! That's just messed up! Why would God give us things to make life easier if he didn't want us to use them? Shoe laces are cool, especially if you can never tie them right and they become undone and you trip and fall and hit your face. then you look like a bigger dumb ass! And double knotting isn't cute... and you know what... while i'm complaining about shoes... why can't i get cartoons on my shoes anymore? who says i don't want to where snow white on my shoes... with glitter... and lights... and that cool goop that would change colors in the sun (member thoses?) yeah... that's what i wish for!

• My last wish is... when i'm old, on my death bed... i want my family to bring me all of the best narcotics, alcohol, and anything else that will trip me out. I've never tried anything in my life (no joke). not even cigarettes. so when i'm almost on my way out... i want to go out with a bang! i wanna be so tripped out on stuff, that when my soul is in front of St. Peter, my eyes will be squinty, my soul will smell of pot and booze, and he's going to be so intrigued by how happy i look, he's gonna ask me for a hit. oh yeah! lol

  

  i wanna go out like this guy

  Thanks for tuning in

Love,
eRiCa