Ok, so one of my first blog posts was about how I hate people making a big deal out of me being pregnant. I hate people touching me, talking to my stomach, telling me what to eat, how to walk, wipe my ass... I mean, this isn't my first kid... and I've learned over the years that I'm a lot smarter and more educated than a lot of people... So stop trying to convince me that if I don't eat what I crave (which i don't have cravings), my baby is going to be deformed!!!
I'm so serious people this is your last freakin warning... I know you read my blog, I can see you has viewed it, so don't act dumb when you see me. Please, stop touching my belly! It's really uncomfortable for me. so here are my trade offs. everytime someone does something that i hate... i'm going to return the favor
#3 If you touch my belly... I'm going to pants your ass in public... yes, this is how you make me feel... you put me in a very akward possition and i'm going to return the favor!
#2 If you treat me like I'm a disabled, worthless, fragile flower who isn't allowed to lift a pillow, I'm going to tie your hands up and blind fold you and make you eat HOT soup. I have 2 kids... I run around all day, I clean my house, I make dinner, I do laundry, I go to school, I have a crap load of homework, and I still have to remember to breath... trust me... being at work is a lot easier job than playing Susy Homemaker. I'm not dumb and am not going to risk mine or my baby's health. So calm the hell down if I lift a 3paged book
#1 And, here is my #1 way to piss me off... I don't need to tell every person I meet that I'm pregnant. I'm not ashamed of my child. (I'm married to a wonderful man, am a strong woman, am not reliant on government assistance... etc...) I'm happy about my baby... I just don't feel like having to risk the whole cycle of things that piss me off with strangers. So, here's my point... If I don't mention that I'm pregnant... don't introduce me to someone and then tell them I'm pregnant. If you do it after I've asked you not too.. I'mma slap you!
People don't understand why i hate these things so much, but it's because people automatically assume that woman are weak. Pregnant woman are thought to be so fragile that we can't do anything. I don't care about other woman... I really don't, but I want people to always see me as that woman who busts her ass off to get ahead... not a that pregnant girl who we have to follow around holding pillows behind her incase she falls.
Like I said, this isn't my first child, I'm very healthy, and so is my baby. so just ignore the fact that i'm pregnant and let me work. and one more thing... i've always loved pickles... so if you see me eating a pickle... LEAVE ME ALONE AND STOP ASKING IF THE BABY WANTED A PICKLE OR IF I'M HAVING CRAVINGS!!! i can't even eat in peace anymore becasue of you psyco pregnant people watchers.
anyways, you've been warned... don't make me slap you. because my defense in court will be "Your honor, I was feeling weak that day, so fragile... I didn't mean to slap her, it was my hormones acting in self defense becasue she touched me... (all this while i cry my eyes out... and yes... i will pull out the pregnant card here!) hahhaha
Thanks for tuning in... and please leave me alone. you knew me before i was pregnant and i'm still the same person
Love
eRiCa
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