How to Act In Front of Black People

Ok, so let's set some facts straight. No, I'm not black, I'm the whitest looking Mexican you'll ever see... (sometimes i even think i'm a Mexican Albino). And for the sake of political correctness (or what ever) I will not use the term African American, because most all my friends refer to themselves as Black.

So, I was having a hard time going to sleep last night, and i was just thinking of random things... and recently, i've witnessed the most HI-LARIOUS things with people not knowing how to act in front of black people. So here are some things i've heard, saw, and highly recommend so you don't come off as a complete jack-off.

• Don't start talking all ghetto! (ya na'rra mEEn). Black people speak and understand plain English too. Ebonics isn't the only way you can communicate. Plus, you sound and look real stupid.       

     

• Don't ask them if they've seen anything good lately on BET... chances are the last show you saw with a black protagonist in it was Family Matters. And black people don't have a points chart where if you know a famous black person you get extra points. Just admit that you watch Dancing With the Stars and move on.

 

• Don't let this be your first sentence when you meet a black person, "Oh, hi! I've met black people before, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I'm sure we'll get along too, as long as you don't go all "HOOD" on me." (dude really said this on tv... can you guess how the rest of the conversation went?)

Dude, this is major confusion right here

• Please God, don't ask them if they know their daddy. (I heard this one at school)

• DON'T EVER... EVER... EVERRRRRR... think it's ok to say "Wazz up my n***er?!?!" I don't care how cool you think you are, it's a sure way to get ass beat. You don't see me going up to Asains, Whites, or Mexicans saying "Hey Chinks, Red Neck, Wet Back" trust me, you're not cool.

• ok, so there's one person that really came to mind when i thought of this topic. He's a chef instructor of mine. Don't "try" so hard to make black people feel "accepted". because chances are, you're just making a fool of yourself and clouding up the room with awkwardness.

• Here's one i heard in my own family. Black people come in all different shades ranging from "you ain't black" to "black as night". if you meet a really light skinned black person, please don't say "Oh wow, you're cute. you don't even look black." (yes, someone in my family said that. the guy didn't know whether to take it as a compliment or an insult.) but it sure as hell made me laugh which lightened the atmosphere. 

 

• If you had black friends growing up, that's good for you. don't tell every black person you meet that you did. chances are, they don't care. and remember that points board... it doesn't exists, so you're not getting any points. so keep little Tyrell and Sha'Wanda to yourself.

• Don't make black jokes in a hopes that you're gonna prove that you're not a racists. I haven't heard a black joke to this day that isn't racists. joke about asians! they're already so far ahead of us all, no matter what you say you can't knock 'em down. lol

 

 

• Here is my #1 rule/ suggestion... this is even more dangerous than saying the N-Word in stadium full of black people. PLEASE GOD! DON'T ASK A BLACK WOMAN IF HER HAIR IS REAL! OMG, are you serious? does anyone go around asking white woman if their hair color or boobs are real? seriously... just don't. 

AAAAHHHHHHHH AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA I'M GLAD SHE PUT THIS UP! ANYTIME I GET SELF CONSCIOUS FROM NOW ON, I'MMA THINK OF HER AND FEEL BETTER!!!!!

For a good time, call 925-ghetto bitches

PS, no joke, this was here PROM picture! hahahahahaha

So most likely, if your sitting there and finding an excuse to bend these rules, you're probably some sheltered person who has never met anyone outside your own race. and if you say "I'm not racist" you're probably in a situation proving otherwise.

And don't think that this goes only towards black people. don't talk all "mexican" in front of mexicans. "jew-no wad i mean". We don't drink Corona and Tequila all day. and we don't all come from Mexico. and asian people don't care if your favorite actor is Jackie Chan, or know how to eat with chopsticks. and asia isn't a country, it's a continent. so a person from Vietnam doesn't speak Chinese and they don't celebrate Chinese New Years. so stop saying Happy Chinese New Years in Chinese you dumb ass!

I hope you enjoyed this educational tour

Inside The Culinary World

So before you see this blog and get bored and not read the rest of my posts, please understand that most of this blog will be funny to my classmates this past Fall Semester. This is more of an inside joke kinda thing. so, i invite you to check this post out, but if you don't get it, just skip over to the next post and i assure you you'll love it!!!

Ok, so back to the culinary world. This semester was fun! I don't want to do too much writing because i know the pics will speak for themselves. Now, i have hundreds of pics from this semester! seriously, hundreds... so if you're interested in seeing one in particular or want to see if i have a certain event or class, let me know and i'll try to find them. Here we go on a trip down Hell's Kitchen.

I couldn't crop this picture, but i don't think it had to be to see that on the first day we got see everyone's true colors

We learned how to master the knife... even become one with the knife

We learned to respect animals

We all bonded

And if you're wondering why all of our eyes were closed... We were taking a ton of pics and Evan... well... he's Asian so his eyes were closed in all of them. We just wanted to look the same in one of them.

Happy B-day Janet!

I learned that even shinny cars can break down! (On my freakin way to school!)

We made memories with great people (See what i mean, Evan is 2nd to the left top row of guys... look at his eyes! lol.... you know i love you Evan!)

We learned that if you're fast enough, you can sneak out of the kitchen long enough to get your face painted

You're never to old to poke something dead

We learned how to impress an executive chef with our vast knowledge of cooking techniques. Ernesto is demonstrating how to steam potatoes. Brandon looks so impressed he was left speechless... and if you know Brandon... that's hard

I just had to take a picture with her! That hat just kills me!

In the end, we saw a ton of talented pieces of art go out. This was Ashley W.'s gingerbread creation

We learned that in a chef coat, just about anyone could make their parent's proud

And i got invite my family to see us in action. (my daughter was under the table hiding from the camera)

That was a whole lamb

I still don't know how to crop the pics. lol

I just added this picture because I died my hair. lol Can anyone guess i'm imitating?

I was having a good hair day and took a ton of pics... not that i came out cute in any, but i like my hair in this one. lol

We made memories that i know will last us forever! LEX-HANS

But my #1 memory, i got to see and hold Lauren's pussy in my hands. It was so soft, but i found out she had bugs. She bought special shampoo and is fine now.

Like i said. i have hundreds of pics. Dinning room, 120, 220, Meat Fish and Poultry, Catering Events. This was just a little taste.

Thanks for tuning in!

Love
eRiCa