Ok, so one of my first blog posts was about how I hate people making a big deal out of me being pregnant. I hate people touching me, talking to my stomach, telling me what to eat, how to walk, wipe my ass... I mean, this isn't my first kid... and I've learned over the years that I'm a lot smarter and more educated than a lot of people... So stop trying to convince me that if I don't eat what I crave (which i don't have cravings), my baby is going to be deformed!!!
I'm so serious people this is your last freakin warning... I know you read my blog, I can see you has viewed it, so don't act dumb when you see me. Please, stop touching my belly! It's really uncomfortable for me. so here are my trade offs. everytime someone does something that i hate... i'm going to return the favor
#3 If you touch my belly... I'm going to pants your ass in public... yes, this is how you make me feel... you put me in a very akward possition and i'm going to return the favor!
#2 If you treat me like I'm a disabled, worthless, fragile flower who isn't allowed to lift a pillow, I'm going to tie your hands up and blind fold you and make you eat HOT soup. I have 2 kids... I run around all day, I clean my house, I make dinner, I do laundry, I go to school, I have a crap load of homework, and I still have to remember to breath... trust me... being at work is a lot easier job than playing Susy Homemaker. I'm not dumb and am not going to risk mine or my baby's health. So calm the hell down if I lift a 3paged book
#1 And, here is my #1 way to piss me off... I don't need to tell every person I meet that I'm pregnant. I'm not ashamed of my child. (I'm married to a wonderful man, am a strong woman, am not reliant on government assistance... etc...) I'm happy about my baby... I just don't feel like having to risk the whole cycle of things that piss me off with strangers. So, here's my point... If I don't mention that I'm pregnant... don't introduce me to someone and then tell them I'm pregnant. If you do it after I've asked you not too.. I'mma slap you!
People don't understand why i hate these things so much, but it's because people automatically assume that woman are weak. Pregnant woman are thought to be so fragile that we can't do anything. I don't care about other woman... I really don't, but I want people to always see me as that woman who busts her ass off to get ahead... not a that pregnant girl who we have to follow around holding pillows behind her incase she falls.
Like I said, this isn't my first child, I'm very healthy, and so is my baby. so just ignore the fact that i'm pregnant and let me work. and one more thing... i've always loved pickles... so if you see me eating a pickle... LEAVE ME ALONE AND STOP ASKING IF THE BABY WANTED A PICKLE OR IF I'M HAVING CRAVINGS!!! i can't even eat in peace anymore becasue of you psyco pregnant people watchers.
anyways, you've been warned... don't make me slap you. because my defense in court will be "Your honor, I was feeling weak that day, so fragile... I didn't mean to slap her, it was my hormones acting in self defense becasue she touched me... (all this while i cry my eyes out... and yes... i will pull out the pregnant card here!) hahhaha
Thanks for tuning in... and please leave me alone. you knew me before i was pregnant and i'm still the same person
Love
eRiCa
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
What Woman Want
So, Valentine's Day is coming.... and I've noticed that a lot of guys are stressing about what to get their significant other... first of all, if you are that dumb to fall in to the V-day fever, you deserve to pay $20 for a single rose. I mean, why concentrate so much time and energy to tell someone you love them on a day they are expecting it? Why not tell that person on any other day and make it a surprise. Either way, if you want to act like a jr. high student carrying around balloons, bears, and nasty boxes of crappy chocolate... go ahead.
So, let's go back to guys not knowing what woman want... not only on on V-day... but every day. so let me decode some things for you.
* Be it her birthday is coming up, V-day, Christmas or any other day that she is expecting a gift, when she says she wants to be surprised... that means that she already told you what she wants and she hopes you surprise her that you were actually listening to her. Don't be dumb... ask her if you can't remember... say something like... "I'm going to get you something, and I know that you already have something in mind. Let me know what you want so I can make sure it goes with the surprise I already have in mind."
*She says not to get her anything... she's really saying "I don't want to seem greedy, but I really want you to get me something good!" If you are dumb enough to believe that she doesn't want anything, don't complain later that she's mad at you.
* She always wants to hang at HER family's house. It's not that she prefers to go to her family's all the time... it's just that she prefers to NEVER SEE YOUR FAMILY!
* She starts complaining about a backache, foot throbbing, shoulders are tired... she wants a massage! She's not going to ask for it, but if you just grab the massage oil/ lotion and surprise her with you actually picking up her message... she might return the favor in a different way... but trust me... you'll be relaxed.
* She says "you better not get me something expensive... we're on a budget" She really means, don't spend any money on yourself for a while so you can spend more money on her.
* my personal favorite is "babe, don't worry about it, it's the thought that counts and I know I'm gonna love it!" This is actually a warning... "IF YOU THINK ABOUT GETTING MY GIFT FROM THE SAME PLACE YOU CAN PUMP YOUR GAS, CHANGE YOUR TIRES, WASH YOUR CAR, OR ENDS IN -MART OR -TREE... I'M LEAVING YOUR ASS!"
Now, there are many more messages that we have, but if I tell them all... then we wouldn't have the joy of watching you guys wonder why we're mad at you. In all honesty, I recommend this... DON'T buy her expensive ass dinners, gifts, or things while dating. Don't be cheap, put thought into the gift... but don't spend a million dollars on every gift on your girlfriend. Once she's your wife, that's when you should pull out the big guns! She's the woman you vowed yourself to, the woman who puts up with your mother, and maybe even the mother of your children. Make her feel like a queen and if she is a great woman, she will treat you better than a king. If you're married and don't understand why you're not treated like a king there are 1 of 2 reasons...
#1- you don't treat her like a queen
#2- you spoiled her so much while dating, she fell in love more with the gifts an you missed out on your true queen.
And woman, treat your man with respect. Don't insult him, belittle him, or disrespect him. Let your man know he is the only one. Surprise him with things too. and yes, buying yourself a little ligerie one in a while to surprise him counts as a gift for him... as long as he's the only one who gets to see it... so don't ask the plumber what he thinks of your new thong!
Life is short, don't waste it not loving... or loving the wrong one. Always respect yourself, your partner, and your relationship.
Sorry, this wasn't my usual crack head blog post, but I have a lot of friends who i'm hoping will find the same kind of love i found with my husband.
Thanks for tuning in
Love
eRiCa
So, let's go back to guys not knowing what woman want... not only on on V-day... but every day. so let me decode some things for you.
* Be it her birthday is coming up, V-day, Christmas or any other day that she is expecting a gift, when she says she wants to be surprised... that means that she already told you what she wants and she hopes you surprise her that you were actually listening to her. Don't be dumb... ask her if you can't remember... say something like... "I'm going to get you something, and I know that you already have something in mind. Let me know what you want so I can make sure it goes with the surprise I already have in mind."
*She says not to get her anything... she's really saying "I don't want to seem greedy, but I really want you to get me something good!" If you are dumb enough to believe that she doesn't want anything, don't complain later that she's mad at you.
* She always wants to hang at HER family's house. It's not that she prefers to go to her family's all the time... it's just that she prefers to NEVER SEE YOUR FAMILY!
* She starts complaining about a backache, foot throbbing, shoulders are tired... she wants a massage! She's not going to ask for it, but if you just grab the massage oil/ lotion and surprise her with you actually picking up her message... she might return the favor in a different way... but trust me... you'll be relaxed.
* She says "you better not get me something expensive... we're on a budget" She really means, don't spend any money on yourself for a while so you can spend more money on her.
* my personal favorite is "babe, don't worry about it, it's the thought that counts and I know I'm gonna love it!" This is actually a warning... "IF YOU THINK ABOUT GETTING MY GIFT FROM THE SAME PLACE YOU CAN PUMP YOUR GAS, CHANGE YOUR TIRES, WASH YOUR CAR, OR ENDS IN -MART OR -TREE... I'M LEAVING YOUR ASS!"
Now, there are many more messages that we have, but if I tell them all... then we wouldn't have the joy of watching you guys wonder why we're mad at you. In all honesty, I recommend this... DON'T buy her expensive ass dinners, gifts, or things while dating. Don't be cheap, put thought into the gift... but don't spend a million dollars on every gift on your girlfriend. Once she's your wife, that's when you should pull out the big guns! She's the woman you vowed yourself to, the woman who puts up with your mother, and maybe even the mother of your children. Make her feel like a queen and if she is a great woman, she will treat you better than a king. If you're married and don't understand why you're not treated like a king there are 1 of 2 reasons...
#1- you don't treat her like a queen
#2- you spoiled her so much while dating, she fell in love more with the gifts an you missed out on your true queen.
And woman, treat your man with respect. Don't insult him, belittle him, or disrespect him. Let your man know he is the only one. Surprise him with things too. and yes, buying yourself a little ligerie one in a while to surprise him counts as a gift for him... as long as he's the only one who gets to see it... so don't ask the plumber what he thinks of your new thong!
Life is short, don't waste it not loving... or loving the wrong one. Always respect yourself, your partner, and your relationship.
Sorry, this wasn't my usual crack head blog post, but I have a lot of friends who i'm hoping will find the same kind of love i found with my husband.
Thanks for tuning in
Love
eRiCa
Friday, January 28, 2011
UgLy BaBiEs!!!
So, I've been hanging out with my friends, many who have kids, really cute kids! Which is lucky for me, because there is nothing worse than hanging out with someone with an ugly kid! Don't get me wrong, poor kid isn't at fault, but we as humans enjoy looking at pretty things. Let's just prove my point.
Pick from the following A or B
I think I made my point. So, as humans we are drawn to beautiful things. no shame in it if it's our nature. But what should we do when confronted with things that aren't so pleasant? Especially when it's something so innocent as a baby?!?!
So, I've come up with suggestions and solutions to help you through it.
#1- let's say, your friend just had a baby and it looks like a freakin hairy ass monkey (that no matter what your beliefs were before, you start to think that Darwin was right about the theory of evolution... for you dumber readers... you start to believe we came from monkeys) Here's what i suggest you say "Awwww, how great! you won't have to buy her any sweaters, you're so lucky!" see what i did there... turn a negative into a positive, and you didn't even have to lie!.
#2- you see a kid that seriously looks like the span of Chucky! I've seen this before. The kids usually has snot coming out his nose, his face is all uneven, and for some reason, that little snot machine always wants to hug you and the mom thinks it's cute and even encourages him to give you kissies. He's what you do... pick a fight with that mom. Doesn't matter about what. Just piss her off enough to where you never have to see her or her cracked out ass kid again! Sleep with her husband if that's what it takes... but be warned, you could get pregnant and end up with a live Chucky doll of your own... so make your you use the pull out method... it's 100% reliable!
#3- If you see a baby/ kid that is seriously so unattractive you can't find anything nice to say, don't lie to the parents. It's ok to say things such as "Awwww, look at how big he is!" or "wow, he looks just like you" or my favorite "look at how cute her clothes are!" see, you don't have to lie to the parents, just don't tell them the whole truth.
#4- here is my favorite and best piece of advice. Let's say you can't avoid the kid, here's what you do. Pretend to be sick. like this "Ohhhhh, i would love to hold your baby, but i think i'm coming down with something, i shouldn't hold her!" If the kid is a little older, teach them "air kisses". Make it a natural thing between you. That way, you never have to touch that kid.
So i hope you liked my advice. Thanks for tuning in. Take care
Love,
eRiCa
Pick from the following A or B
 |
| A: wake up next to him |
 |
| B: Look at this every day? |
 |
| A: Look at this during your vacation |
 |
| B: Look at this from your motel room while visiting distant relatives? |
 |
| A: snuggle next to this little guy? |
 |
| B: snuggle next to this road kill |
 |
| A: Drive this? |
 |
| B: Push this bucket down the street while people point and laugh |
 |
| A: Live here |
 |
| B: wait for this roof to collapse on you while you sleep here |
So, I've come up with suggestions and solutions to help you through it.
#1- let's say, your friend just had a baby and it looks like a freakin hairy ass monkey (that no matter what your beliefs were before, you start to think that Darwin was right about the theory of evolution... for you dumber readers... you start to believe we came from monkeys) Here's what i suggest you say "Awwww, how great! you won't have to buy her any sweaters, you're so lucky!" see what i did there... turn a negative into a positive, and you didn't even have to lie!.
 |
| Human Baby |
 |
| Baby monkey... sad thing is, i'd rather hold the monkey |
 |
| imagine this fool as a baby!!! |
#3- If you see a baby/ kid that is seriously so unattractive you can't find anything nice to say, don't lie to the parents. It's ok to say things such as "Awwww, look at how big he is!" or "wow, he looks just like you" or my favorite "look at how cute her clothes are!" see, you don't have to lie to the parents, just don't tell them the whole truth.
#4- here is my favorite and best piece of advice. Let's say you can't avoid the kid, here's what you do. Pretend to be sick. like this "Ohhhhh, i would love to hold your baby, but i think i'm coming down with something, i shouldn't hold her!" If the kid is a little older, teach them "air kisses". Make it a natural thing between you. That way, you never have to touch that kid.
So i hope you liked my advice. Thanks for tuning in. Take care
Love,
eRiCa
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Part two of Fall semester Pics
Hey, so i finally found disc #2 of the pics from last semester. I gotta find disc #1 now. lol Like i said before, i have hundreds of pics so if anyone wants to see one in particular, let me know and i'll look for it. :) Take care. and now that the holidays are over, i'll be updating my blog more often. i can see alot of you have been reading it, but haven't become followers. lol
Thanks for tuning in
Love,
eRiCa
Thanks for tuning in
Love,
eRiCa
 H |
| AAAAAYYYYEEEEE team didn't let me take too many pics of them. |
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| Elotes! se venden elotes! calientitos y tiernitos! |
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| Here is the Communist team |
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| Funny how we always found time to do stuff out of the kitchen. lol and we always had a crap load of dishes at the end of the day. lol |
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| BEHIND THE GREASE PITS! HOW ROMANTIC!!!! |
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